Candid Talk: Relating With The Ex

relating with the ex

relating with the ex

Hi readers!
How are you today? Great I hope. All ye that prayed for harmattan, hope y’all happy now? I wish it’d start raining already. Was trying to put up a style post today but WordPress seems to have a mind of its own so relating with the ex is the issue for discussion today. Oh well, finally got around to name this series of rants I put up once in a while. They will be referred to as candid talk now.

If you happen to be a social media addict like myself, you probably follow one or two or more of those Twitter or Instagram relationship accounts e.g. Joro Olumofin, Unilag Olodo etc. I have read a lot of posts their followers send in and wonder how people actually relate with their ex(es). That thought spun this post of how people are relating with the ex.

I am of the opinion that a relationship shouldn’t end so messy that you wouldn’t be able to relate well with your ex or the guy/girl involved afterwards. I am good friends with my first boyfriend and in fact, he happens to be in the same university I am in and we get to see often. However, we are both clear on where we stand and are strictly just friends. Same goes for the others.

relating with the ex

You should be able to talk or chill with your ex and nothing would be attached, unless you are not over them yet and I think you should let them know in such a case. There are relationships that should have stayed in the friendship level but due to a reason or another, things escalated. There’s no need dragging what wasn’t that deep. Life is honestly too short to not be with who you really want to be with.

relating with the ex

Some people find it so hard moving on after a break up. There was a story I read on Joro’s Instagram page in which the girl already had a boyfriend yet she was still sleeping with her ex. Gosh! I had exclaimed. I believe there is always a reason why a break up occurs and in a situation whereby the two people involved are so wrapped around themselves, it’s better to at least try and make it work instead of carrying the past into a new relationship and having your boyfriend/girlfriend jealous or questioning about your ex. Then there was this post of a girl asking for advice when her ex bought her a car and her fiance told her to return it or break up. And the stories go on and on.

relating with the ex quotes

Lol seems like most of the stories revolving around ex issues have to do with ladies. When breaking up, you should define what the break up entails. Would you still be friends? Can you date friends of his/hers? Would you communicate like you used to? Would it be fine to receive help or gifts from the ex? Is it okay to tell your new partner about your ex? However, I think if a relationship ends on a bad term, then you might want to stay away for as long as you want to get over the past issue. When you’re ready, move on and forgive.

I am no relationship expert but this is what I think about relating with the ex candidly. I might be wrong or something, so let me know what you think relating with the ex should be like. Would really love it if you’d share your thoughts and experience. The best of posting here is getting your feedback and comments. What are your thoughts about this post?

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22 thoughts on “Candid Talk: Relating With The Ex

  1. Communicating or relating with an ex should depend on the circumstances surrounding how u broke up …. Example… If d break up was messy where one party or either party was a cheat, an abuser, a betrayer or any other such vices….then it would be better to stay clear off communicating except u meet him/her peradventure n u av to be cordial….

  2. I love this post
    Some of us break up but still hope to get our love back
    It takes time to move on: Some people its not long but others very long
    that’s why they do back and forths with the ex
    It requires more eye opening moments and trustworthy friends to help stop these ancient feelings
    Nice candid talk

    Ngumabi
    N’Graffi

    1. It indeed takes time to move on. I think I understand why people go back and forth in relationships now. Thanks for the enlightenment!

  3. Don’t I love this post!

    Personally, I believe an ex should remain an ex to avoid further complications except you wish he/she wasn’t an ex.

    Except of course if the break up wasn’t as messy and was dissolved on a mutual ground, then you may remain friends with stated and clear terms

  4. It deonds on the nature of the relationship and break up too. Everyone has a coping mechanism when it comes to moving on from a broken relationship. Some just cut it all off and never turn back while some think it’s okay to still be friends. However, being friends takes time too because some exes are just not worth your time anymore. Nice post!

  5. I can totally relate to this post. I am stil friends with my first boyfriend and I think the whole talking with your ex is based on mutual understanding. There was a reason y’all didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean hatred should set in, I also believe in the forgive and let go motion too.

    1. So much knowledge you’ve shared here. Forgiveness is important in moving on in some past relationships. Thanks for your comment.

  6. I think d problem comes in when d relationship ends badlly. Ders dis ex of me, trust me I’m dunzo with me but he kept disturbing me even tho i wasn’t giving him response, some guys are crazy fa, anyway moving on, one can be cool with d exs but I don’t subscribe to getting gifts from dem, der has to be restrictions.

  7. Gurlll….you on point, like we are on the same page, even if the relationship ended badly, that doesn’t mean we can’t talk to each other again. My and my ex’s are cool, have had just two of them, trust me we are cool, and friendship bond stronger.
    Most times there are some things that should be left to being friends, Buh we just let emotions take over, we date, later break up, it is well sha.

    BTW, girl follow back naaaa….(dee_iromi) on IG.
    ??

    http://www.scarletmakeovers.wordpress.com

  8. Interesting POV dammy, but I think that except in really special circumstances exes should remain acquaintances and not Friends. Because you think you guys are over each other and moving on next thing you know he tries to kiss you (happened to me last week). So I had to tell him that even though we were friends before we started dating he had to just completely cut off for a while.

  9. Lovely post..to be candid just like you, well i’m still in contact with vividly all my exes..our breakup was amicable and not messy or hurt ones feelings n co so that doesn’t stop us from being friends BUT no calls or meeting up whatsoever cuz guys are not nice. So the friendship is just based on chat

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