Poetry || The African Woman

life of dammy The African Woman

I am an African woman
Do not insult me
When you see tears water down my face
Salty like the Pacific

Do not insult me
When my breast sag
Like pillows without stuffings
Mighty generations have suckled on them

Do not insult me
If my back seems slightly bent
Like arc of the mathematical ellipse
Heavy loads have rested on them

Do not insult me
When my skin crack
Shea butter did try
But I worked to make better more lives

I am an African woman
And Africa where I come from
We work hard.
©Dammy

Picture taken by me.
Model: Dennis Jane

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Dear Son: A Message From RMD

a message from rmd

I saw a message from RMD when I was scrolling through my Instagram feed yesterday (@mystique_dammy). Actor Richard Mofe Damijo called RMD penned a message for ‘his son’. This has to be one of the best speeches ever. Message of the year perhaps? If you’re regular here, you probably know how I rant about some of the problems youths have in this generation. See here and here for a bit of my rant. RMD is the ultimate father figure and I’m so impressed by this sincere message. Pay close attention to every line.

He wrote:

TAG A SON…
Dear Son,
I’m writing to you today because there is no day “internationally” set aside for the “boy child”, so, tired of looking on in horror as you constantly shock and embarrass me, this is from daddy to you.

I’m shocked at how many of you carry yourselves here on social media. I am shocked at the things you L O L at. I am worried at the way you speak
to and about women.

I am frightened at the kinds of things that inspire and motivate you.

I am concerned that the women who get your attention are not the virtuous, brilliant types but the frivolous party, skimpily clad ones.

I am disappointed to see that the pictures you fall over yourselves double tapping are not the inspirational quotes or of clean, beautiful modest women but of women with their breasts, thighs and bottoms spilling over.

I cringe at how many of you blatantly use swear and curse words at women like it makes you cool.

I am distraught to see that many of you insinuate that a man who loves and stays with one woman is a wimp, that a man who publicly displays and speaks about his love for his woman is a “jew man”, that a man who is more interested in deeply spiritual and intellectual pursuits should be shamed…

I am worried son, deeply worried.

My dear son, being uncouth, indecent, unintelligent is NOT cool and contrary to what you think, the man who stays on social media looking for naked ladies to validate, smart people to shame, brilliant people to tear down, celebrities to attack are NOT men but little boys battling low self esteem issues.

A real man loves God and is not ashamed to show it. He loves and respects women. He does not ask for nudes and if any misguided woman sends him her nudes respectfully deletes it and not use it as a blackmailing tool. A real man reads, yes, he reads a lot. He picks his mentors wisely, thinks before he speaks and reads his comments over and over before he hits send.

Dear son, do not let the “anonymity” of social media make you a fool rather use it to shine and be kind, reasonable and sensible at all times because that is the man I desire to see you be.
Love,
Daddy
#RMDSaysSo

Deep and impressive right? This message should be spread and taught to every son. This is wisdom in a beautiful form!

However I believe a major part of how youths behave these days falls on our parents, society and government. Train your child in the way to go and he won’t depart from it. Is that not what the bible says? So the major responsibility of clearing these problems falls on the adults.

What part of this message do you agree or disagree with? Do you believe this message deserves speech of the year? Is RMD in the best position to give this sort of advice? Let’s talk below. The best part of posting here is getting your feedback and comments. What are your thoughts about this post?

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Abuse Story: He Kissed Me!

he kissed me

Ladies and gentlemen.
All protocols duly observed. Pardon the title of this post but I’m angry right now. I have read about sexual harassment experience on Tobi’s blog and Margaret’s blog but I couldn’t exactly relate to all of their experience because I haven’t been exactly harassed before. Till today.

So you probably know I started my internship back in August as I stated in this post and I have been working since. In the process of working at a place, it is inevitable to socialise and through one person, you can know a hundred right? Anyway, there’s this twenty-something brother that comes every other day and we talk casually. Met his girlfriend some weeks back and she’s literally the sweetest being even though he treats her like crap sometimes. I try not to get into their fights.

So today, I was sitting by myself, going through my Instagram posts when he just walked up to me, bent down and kissed me. He kissed me! The shock of the act paralyzed me for 10 seconds only for the buffoon to say he was testing me. I slapped him across the face and punched him a couple of times. Don’t ever do that again! I yelled and walked away in anger.

He came after me, telling me I was overreacting. Overreacting really? Do you think I don’t have a right to get angry? And he was apologizing with a smirk on. What the heck was that? This dude has a girlfriend that I know about and he knows! Then why? I am so bewildered right now. Like are the morals of guys in this generation getting worse everyday? Let’s talk below. Ladies, what’s your opinion about this? Guys defend yourself.

The best part of posting here is getting your feedback and comments. What are your thoughts about this post?

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Poetry || The Girl Child

girl child

In this picture: Binogun Winifred
As shot by me

International Day of the Girl Child is a day declared by the United Nations in support of more opportunity for girls and increasing awareness of gender inequality faced by girls worldwide based upon their gender.

Let them say therefore
That a girl child is smart
And has a right to education
Her greatness has different part
And has a right to appreciation
A girl child has a right to her innocence
Let no one take it away from her
Treat her with transparence
Not married off to another
Old enough to be the father

Let them say
The girl child is beautiful
And not judged by her color
Let those that know her be grateful
Let her be free from abuse
Emotional and physical bruise
She shall have a voice
And make her own choice
The girl child
The mother Earth has birthed
Let them preserve her
Let them adore her.
©Ajibike Oyindamola

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Poetry || Reflections #2

You’re man
I’m WOman
A sturdy WOod
Grown from the richest species
Of favoured WOmen
I can be tender
Like soft WOol
I’ll be WOnderful to you
If you want me to
I could be a WOe to you
If you acted the fool
Not the WHOre some have in mind
And I will not WObble
But leave many WOndering
What sort of WOndrous WOman is this?
©Ajibike Oyindamola

Song on the side: Shontelle – reflection

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Poetry || No Aunty

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Picture from Google.com

 

No aunty.

Not every guy that is your friend that you must date. Learn the concept of emotional maturity. It is not every guy that asks you out that you must date.

No aunty.

Having a long list of exes is not an achievement. Rather rejoice in being strong and single. Do not be emotionally dependent on someone.

No aunty.

You are not public shares that should pass from hands to hands. Not every guy should have a piece of you. You deserve a better guy.

No aunty.

Not every guy that tells you you’re beautiful means it. Not every guy that claims to love you loves you really. Not every potential boyfriend is a potential boyfriend.

No aunty.

Your mouth is not an express way traffic should pass through. Not every guy should feed off the essence of your lips. Save the kisses for someone better.

No aunty.

Not every guy deserves you. Deserves to see your nakedness. Not every guy would want you after the deed.

No aunty.

The past is not worth dwelling on. The past is gone, the present is now and the future could be better. Move on and stop holding on to past ghosts.

No aunty.

This writeup is not intended to amuse you but to open your eyes to things you might not know. Read well and understand. Your actions today would decide your fate.

*Aunty – a term for young lady

 

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Poetry || This Gender Inequality Thing

image

Source: Instagram

Today I killed a man
I did kill a human
And I patiently await judgement
In anger I’d fired
Who he is
Who is he to call me a mere lady

Surely he sees the crown on my head
The spectre I hold
And the wisdom I can voice
Surely he sees the strength
The strength of her who perseveres
Her who is more than some men
Those cowardly men
Who raise their hands
And strike her
Who they claim they love

Surely I’m better than them!
Surely I’m a better man!

Today I killed a man
And I feel no remorse
The change might not start today
But along the way
Equality will have its say

I killed a man today
And my voice quivered
I watched him crumble to the ground
But the verbal death was worth it.

©Ajibike Oyindamola

I read this poetry piece at The Boy-Girl Thing, a poetry hangout which was a discourse about gender inequality.

My hair, my body, please society!

One thing I find so odd about people these days is the problem majority have with natural hair. I’ve heard different opinions about the issue. Some are quite funny while others are just uncool.

The first week I had my big chop i.e cut off my relaxed hair, I was teased so badly. A particular girl in my department called me secondary school girl for over a month. Some laughed at my hair. A friend of mine who I met at the salon when cutting my hair asked if I was crazy. For wanting to return natural? Really??! It took a lot of positivity then which kept me going and not bothered. Even my mother tried to talk me into relaxing my hair.

Although my hair is over 6 months old which is pretty good in my opinion, I walk into hair salons with intention of making my hair and the hairstylists still look at me oddly. Asking “Why haven’t you relaxed your hair?” “Do you want to relax your hair?” When I take time to explain, they either grunt or complain. One once said to me “You these natural hair people. You think it’s easy for us to cope.” Eventually when they make the hairstyle I tell them, they either make use of the wrong instruments or make it too tight. I have had to take out a weave of three days because I had sores on my scalp. It was so not cool.

Do I have to have my hair relaxed to fit society’s view of normal hair? Please. I love my kinks and coils. And I did love my hair when it was relaxed BUT relaxed hair should not be society’s view of normal hair. There are some companies who do not allow their natural haired staff come to work rocking their natural hair. They dare not rock their afro! And surely this is the 21st century. It is after all my hair, my body, please society! Just let it be.

Do I have to be figure 8 or so slim to fit society’s view of what’s okay in body shape? What if I like my food a little fatty and I love my flesh a bit chubby? What if I’ve got freckles or acne which have refused to clear on my face? Does it make me less awesome or change my success story? Of course not. Please, do not change or modify your opinions or standards just to suit society’s view. The society is the problem, not you. You are beautiful. I am beautiful.

If you stay in Ibadan and you’d like to make protective styles for your natural hair, kindly send an email to ajibike.oyinda@gmail.com

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