Candid Talk | | Notion That Men Are Scum x Giveaway

With the sudden increase in advocacy for feminism this year and the last, the statement ‘all men are scum’ has found a way to feature in almost every day conversation, stemming from the fact that females suddenly think the male ways are dishonest. I was bound to share my candid thoughts about the notion that men are scum. In fact, there is a website that documents scum experience submitted by females and the scum guys are rated on a scumometer. Some of the experience I found on Lists Ng told by ladies include:

One of my faves. Saw nudes on his phone. Asked him about it. IN FRONT OF ME he deletes all the pictures then says to me “what nudes where?”

Dropped me at home so he could take another girl clubbing. Went to the club to meet them and he acted like I didn’t exist

I met wet pant in the bathroom n he said he bought it for me but wanted to wash it first 😂, he must have washed it too hard it was FADING. 😭

The things girls have gone through with scums will surprise you. I was trying really hard not to laugh and yet feeling pity at the same time. Had my own share of experience with guys that are scum but they’re just lessons now. I could summarize this blog post into the fact that we are all scum but being a scientist, facts are to be backed up and among the reasons we are all scum include:

We all lie

Show me a person who claims he/she doesn’t lie and we’d have a good laugh off it. Lying isn’t restricted to one sex and so long as everyone’s prone to lying, it makes no sense to call men scum because they lie or are deceptive, as we all lie one way or another. Lying isn’t restricted to any age either and being a scum cuts across all ages as well.

We are all selfish

As humans, it is fairly normal for most people to think of themselves before others and in the process of this happening, the scum feature sets in. This also makes it possible for either member of both sexes to cheat members of the opposite sex. I mean even family member behave in a scum way to each other yet people don’t say family is scum.

We all play games

I follow quite a number of Instagram relationship accounts and advice columns that post real life situations sent in by anonymous people. Let us be candid, girls play games in relationships (even friendship) and so do guys like I shared in my harassment story. The ratio cannot be equated because when you hear the story of a guy who proposed to a girl just to get her to have sex, you’d hear the story of a girl who led on a guy and eventually got enough money from him to marry the guy she actually likes. It’s pathetic, this generation of ours in which honesty has become gold.

Before you join the men are scum campaign, you should keep it in mind that we behave in almost the same ways. With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you that both men and women are scum. Thank you! *takes a bow*

The Giveaway!

This is to thank you, for supporting this small girl and her blog. I get overwhelmed some times when I see your comments and views.

boom headphones

Giving away one Tecno Boom headphones for a genuine music lover and blog reader. The rules are pretty easy and simple.

  • Be subscribed to the blog.
  • Share this blog post on any social media platform. Help other people find the blog plus sharing is caring.
  • Leave a comment below with reason(s) you want the headphones, your name and email. Won’t be selecting the winner randomly as I really want to give the headphones to someone who really deserves it.
  • Giveaway is open to Nigerians. Winner should have a way to pick up from Ibadan or be willing to arrange for delivery.
  • Giveaway ends on October 8, 2017.

Good luck!

P.s. The academic strike is finally off and my rant from the school is hard post seems slightly amusing now.

Poetry || New Beginnings

new beginnings

From my window,
I see disorder across the road,
grownups fighting over
issues children shouldn’t;
clothes being ripped
punches thrown,
peace being disturbed
and yet from a tree on this same road,
an egg breaking,
an anxious mother gleeful
as the young one popped out.
Yet again in the midst of chaos,
peace can be found
and so can new beginnings.
– Dammy

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Valentine’s Day Music Playlist

St. Valentine’s Day is fast creeping up on us and if you’re single like myself, one of the best ways to celebrate love as the essence of the day is, is to chill by yourself or friends. Now Valentine’s Day won’t be complete without music right? Thought I’d share songs that would make Valentine’s Day lovely. In no particular order, this mix of Naija and international tracks will get you started on a great note.

1. Whitney Houston – will always love you. A timeless track from way back. Although it is tending towards break up, who doesn’t like a song promising to always love you?

2. Beyonce – love on top. Ladies get in here! Want your guy blushing from ear to ear? This song is so sweet it came with Blue Ivy’s pregnancy announcement.

3. Bruno Mars – just the way you are. Dear future husband, take note that I’d love to be proposed to with this song. Thank you! This song is bound to make any girl’s heart melt. The lyrics are beautiful and Bruno’s voice is amazing!

4. Jon Bellion – simple and sweet This one is for the slightly naughty lover. A guy describing you as simple and sweet? Romantic.

jon bellion simple and sweet

5. Wande Coal – ololufe. This song deserves gold really. It is beautiful and well done in Yoruba language.

6. Tjan – Aduke. One of my favorite sings from 2016. Future husband, take note again. Love really is beautiful when you’re with that one person that makes your heart tick.

7. Timi Dakolo – iyawo mi. This song is so lovely my mum made it her ringtone for over a month. It is a heart felt song written by Timi for his wife.

8. Proof – shy. When a guy sings about a really shy girl he likes, you best believe it’s a heart warmer. Although he’s an upcoming act, he’s one to look out for.

proof ft toun banjo shy

9. Mystro – awele. Quite similar to Tjan’s Aduke but Mystro’s voice has this different appeal to it. See my weakness lies right there in your smile? Oh my.

10. Selena Gomez – hands to myself. This is a personal favorite of mine. Have you ever been in love that you can’t stop touching or holding your beloved? I know I have. This is the perfect song that portrays that feeling.

11. Justin Bieber – company. Guys get in here, yet to scope that chick? Slide in with this song. Can we keep each other company? You bet we can.

12. Psquare – no one be like you. A track from back in 2003 but it is quite romantic too. Perfect for a guy who wants his girl to know no one is like her.

13. Jason Derulo – IT girl. Yet another personal favorite. I fell in love with this song about the time I first discovered Jason Derulo. It’s quite a lovely song talking about that IT girl, how crazy it is they met and how he wants to put her in the spotlight.

14. Taylor Swift – wildest dreams. Apparently, Taylor sampled her own heart beat on this song. That is, the tempo was based on the rate her heart beats. Amazing right? Still waiting for the guy I’d sing this song for.

15. Chris Brown – with you. This song is from way back in 2006 I think but it was a groovy love song. If you want no one else and really want to be with the one you love, hit her/him with this song.

16. Asa – be my man. One great track for the ladies from the great Asa herself asking a guy to be her man. You know what’s up when this happens.

17. Bruno Mars – marry you. This song had me teary eyed the first time I heard it. Ready to pop the question? This song by Bruno is great for a proposal.

18.James Arthur – won’t let go. I stumbled on James Arthur late last year and this is his first track I heard. Beautiful is an understatement of what this song is *brings out handkerchief*

james arthur won't let go

19. August Alsina ft Nicki Minaj – no love. When two rappers come together with the aim of making good love music, you can only expect magic. Nicki and August killed this track.

20. Ariana Grande – so into you. She released this track last year and I have to say I was quite surprised Ariana could drop a vibey love song as hot as this.

21. The Weeknd – can’t feel my face. This track tells about not feeling your face or being yourself when with that one person. The Weekend changed his look last year and this track has a cool feel to it.

22. Charlie Puth – one call away. Charlie came into major limelight last year and this song is my favorite off his last album. Get it if you don’t have it already.

charlie puth one call away

23. Childish Gambino – 3005. Childish Gambino is one of my favorite rappers and he put a great spin on love in this track which talks about loving a girl till 3005 regardless of what she does.

24. Demi Lovato – give your heart a break. Dear ladies, is your lover one that has been hurt so many times? How best to reassure him you’ll be different with a song? This track covers that.

25. Drake – best I ever had. Drake’s ditzy voice singing and rapping about a girl being the best he ever had? Definitely a song to get a girl.

26. Ed Sheeran – Tenerife sea. If Ed’s voice doesn’t do something to your heart, I really don’t know what to say. Tenerife sea speaks volume about a girl and how he’s so in love.

27. John Legend – you and I. Yet another track John dedicated to his wife Chrissy. They are totally couple goals and every one deserves that one person that makes them feel great.

28. Kat Dahlia – I think I’m in love. Heard this song in an Instagram video and I had to just download it immediately. The little sister loves it too and it talks bout being in love again especially when you thought you couldn’t.

29. Labrinth ft Emeli Sande – deep beneath your beautiful. Labrinth is such an amazing male artist. One of the few that understand rudiments of music. This combo with Emeli Sande is too beautiful.

labrinth ft emeli sande deep beneath your beautiful

30. Meghan Trainor – dear future husband. Funny song but it gives a hint into what we girls want from the guys especially one we have plans of marrying if you know what I mean.

31. Owl City – can’t live without you. Owl City is so underrated. This guys should be paid more attention for real. His voice is magical.

32. R City ft Adam Levine – locked away. Okay prior to this song, I didn’t know who R City was and bad enough, I didn’t know they were two lol. How many people can love unconditionally regardless of what the situation on ground is? If your loved one gets locked away, would you still love them?

33. Rita Ora – poison. Oh Rita, thy did kill this track. Hehehe some type of love you shouldn’t have but you can’t stay away, making them like poison.

Rita Ora poison

34. Skrillex – cinema. Skrillex is a fantastic DJ. Please listen to this song with headphones so you don’t miss any of the electronic effects. So good and lovely!

35. Tove Lo – not on drugs. One thing I’m fond of doing as I stated here is Googling stuffs. Sometimes I hear lyrics from songs and search for them. Not on drugs happens to be one. I thought it was Selena Gomez that sang it. It is so good I had download immediately.

36. The Chainsmokers ft Halsey – closer. This song is a favorite from 2016. The Chainsmokers really stunned me and the music video makes the song even lovelier.

Chainsmokers Halsey Closer

37. 5 Seconds of Summer – she looks so perfect. Can’t choose my favorite between One Direction and this band. Young boys singing about love? Yes please.

38. Adam Lambert – better than I know myself. Went on a downloading spree last year and I happened to download a couple of Adam’s songs. I particularly liked his “Whaddaya want from me” so I wasn’t disappointed. This song is indeed lovely.

39. ASAP Rocky – fashion killa. My third celebrity crush. The tempo, beat and lyrics of this song will have the fashionista girlfriend putting it on repeat.

40. Becky G – shower. Yet another by a teenage female rapper for the guys. Do you like singing in the shower? Is there someone making you sing in the shower? Lol download this song.

41. Big Time Rush – boyfriend. You probably know this band from the Nickelodeon tv series. They said you’re looking for a boyfriend? I see that. Give me time to know I’m gonna be there. Guys you know what’s up.

42. Boys Like Girls – be your everything. Quite an odd name for a band you think? You’d be surprised at how amazing they sing. This song is a love track you’d love.

boys like girls br your everything

43. Ellie Goulding – how long will I love you. Dear girls, if you’re looking into spending eternity with Uncle Boo, this song got you with Ellie’s captivating voice.

44. Maroon 5 – love somebody. This band has been producing great music since way back. Adam Levine’s voice is amaaazing. If you really wanna love somebody and you’re halfway there, this song will take you all the way.

45. MKTO – classic. Not exactly a popular band but you should hear this song if you think your loved one is a classic.

46. OMI ft Felix Jaehn – cheerleader. Oh I think that I’ve found myself a cheerleader. We all know the role cheerleaders play in a game, a source of motivation.

47. One Direction – perfect. For those girls that are insecure about how they feel, this song will help the guys warm their hearts.

one direction perfect

48. Parker Ighile – so beautiful. Not a popular track and Parker is an underrated artist too but how best to tell a girl she’s beautiful and perfect? Gosh! He got the words on point.

49. Trey Songz – simply amazing. This is the best love song of 2015. I loveeee it! Two years after its release and it still makes me smile and blush. When a guy is in love with every bit of a girl and puts it in a song, expect magic.

50. Zayn Malik – pillowtalk. My celebrity crush! So Zayn broke away from One Direction last year and this track dropped. Wheeee! It’s hot hot hot.

love quotes

There you go! My recommended Valentine’s Day Music Playlist. There is more where these come from but these 50 should make your Valentine’s Day and every other day lit. What song on this list is your favorite? Which other track(s) do you love and think should be on this list? The best part of posting here is getting your feedback and comments. What are your thoughts about the post?

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Personality we admire: Black Pro Writer

the black pro writer

In my quest for creative minded people like myself, I found Black Pro Writer last year. I did a guest post on her blog here about broadway. Who is she? Susanah Omohuola Ajiboye is The Black Pro Writer. The big eyed, introverted but curious girl from Oshogbo, Osun State. She is a writer and blogger. A student of Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Ogbomoso, Oyo State. She has a progressive view about every human being and believes we can change for the better and also for the worst. Sue blogs about art, culture and Afro hair. A quite interesting one is the curly girl method.

Writing is perhaps the easiest thing that comes to Susanah naturally and she didn’t learn professionally. Whenever she feels the need to tell a story, she sits and starts scribbling words down (pretty much like me). It could be on her phone but mostly her journal. According to her, she gets better at writing every time but there is no prior learning.

susanah ajiboye

She is inspired by Chimamanda Adichie when it comes to literary writing but asides fiction writing, she finds inspiration in anyone and anything. The Black Pro Writer gets scared of answering long projection questions because she is a bit superstitious and when she says her plans out loud, they don’t happen. But in the next five years, she hopes to be in a place where she is doing things she has always loved to do like being in a book signing and speaking about her passionate causes publicly.

black pro writer

Africans are the most beautiful people in the world and also the most hilarious according to Susanah. In any situation, we are capable of still pulling a joke out of it. She thinks modern day writing is actually necessary. Things are changing rapidly especially in this age of social media and it also affects the style affects the style of writing. Also the need to tell stories in a simple and unconventional method should be embraced rather than taken unseriously because there no big words used while writing this stories. Her favorite issue to write about are realistic fiction, issues that showcase the humanity in humans and issues humans can relate to.

Photography is Susanah’s second love. Actually, she doesn’t plan to drop writing before she pursue this form of art. Stories can be told with images and pictures she believes. She can’t sketch or paint or anything like that but really loves photography. It is a perfect way of teaching yourself to move of out of your comfort zone and travel and also learn, according to her. Her parents have been supportive in every way especially since they know writing is something she is truly passionate about. Susanah’s dad is a journalist and a writer too so he relates with her in every way.

the black pro writer

Her other hobbies include watching movies so much and talking it with people especially my friends. I enjoy reading novels too and I love obsessing about her hair lol. When it comes to style, she is a big fan of the phrase “less is more” so she loves to look comfortable. She basically frown any day she’s on heels and serious looking skirts. Susanah loves sneakers, jean and wearing her Afro up. Also, she can’t do without her bead choker but she doesn’t stick to one accessory as she gets bored and pick a new favorite.

the black pro writer

New writers out there, her advice is for you is to write deeply and widely. Believe in yourself and tell stories of your people. Especially if you’re African, people need to read more of us because we are so abundant in size, in culture in diversity. So why not?

Such a wonderful and creative lady you’d agree? That’s the basics of The Black Pro Writer. What detail about her do you find most interesting? Which can you relate to? The best part of posting here is getting your feedback and comments. What are your thoughts about this post?

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How To Wear Coats

Hi readers!
Yet another style post? Yep. I haven’t stopped writing. Never will I. I said in one of my posts that I was working on something. Well, I have another ePub published on okadabooks.com
Whoop! Whoop! It’s somewhat hilarious though. Kindly search for “A date with Jollof“, download and leave a review. Thank you.

trenchcoat

Styling trenchcoat

Styling coats

I posted some time ago about Olofin Ifeoluwa of Bills Signature, one of my good and talented friends. Read about him here. We had another collaboration and he styled the both of us. Lol yes he styles females too. If you’re in need of a style fix, he’s the guy to go to. Remember the coat which I got as a pre-birthday gift from this post?? Well it was restyled with a black tank top and ripped black leather pants with a pair of black heels. He rocked a vintage shirt with ripped denim jeans, brown brogues and a black coat.

I still don’t like heels but there’s this sophistication it adds to an outfit. A coat is not conducive for Nigeria’s weather you say? Harmattan is coming up soon and it’s got you covered whenever it gets cold. I think it’s a good investment. You should have one in your wardrobe. Click here and here for good bargains. Coats can be expensive but can also be thrifted.

how to wear coats

trenchcoat style

trenchcoat

I believe everyone is coated with good stuff. Some brains, some beauty and good talent. Whatever you choose to do with it/them is on you. Now, when it comes to facing your fears and dreaming, you should let go. There are so many achievers that failed so many times before they succeeded. Take Thomas Edison for example. Do you know how many times he failed before he eventually achieved his goal? A lot of times.
So whether you’re a stylist, a geek, a designer, programmer, blogger, writer, painter, media analyst, college student, a baker or something else; you are coated in good stuff. Believe that. All pictures were taken by Kareem Ifeoluwa of Rex Media (@ife_rex). He’s one of the best photographers in Ibadan. Coated with good stuff!

trenchcoat

trenchcoat

The year is almost over. Jeez! How fast time flies right? Who else is looking forward to seeing The Wedding Party starring Adesua Etomi and Banky W? Seen the trailer and I can’t wait! The Nigerian movie scene is doing so well these days.

Are you the coat, jacket or waistcoat type of person? How would you style the coat? What do you think of this look? The best part of posting here is getting your feedback and comments. What are your thoughts about this post?

P.s: Have you seen my latest interview? Check it out here

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11 Thoughts At 11 O’clock

1. One of the most ridiculous statements I have ever heard in my life is “You’re so tall. How do you intend to get married?” I find it quite silly when people say this or ask questions like this. I’m just 5’9! I have female friends that are taller than me. Surely there are guys that are also taller than me. Since when did height become a problem in dating? And guys that get intimidated by girls taller than them? Not good enough. People need to change their mind’s orientation for real.

2. People who think they can just pass comments on other people need to watch it. You aren’t God and can’t create life. Can you just let these people be?

3. Just how cute is The Diy Lady and her husband. The Diy Lady is a blogger who makes use of a wheelchair and her love story has to be one of the sweetest I have heard all year. There might hope yet for some of us. Physical disability is not a limitation to love.

4. It’s funny how religion has totally blinded some people and how they live their lives. Not gonna say much about this so as not to point fingers or sound like a “sinner”.

5. Am I the only insomniac who stays up all night stalking accounts on Instagram and reading blogs?

6. Did this test on Tuesday of how much my ex misses me and it revealed he’s monitoring almost every activity in my life. How odd is that?

7. Natural hair is difficult to maintain they say. I don’t agree. Been maintaining mine for over 15 months now and I haven’t spent up to N10,000 on it since yet it is doing fine. By the way, The House of Naturals hair meet up is coming up next week Saturday. If you happen to be in Ibadan, don’t miss out.

11 Thoughts At 11 O'clock

8. Does witchcraft actually exist? Listening to some odd bird sound outside my window and I’m wondering if the bird is actually human. *sips water*

9. If you like good music, you need to listen to Jon Bellion’s “The Human Condition” album. I don’t understand the rave about Beyonce’s album though. Not digging it, yet.

10. Funny how cotton robes used to seem so mummyish. Totally gonna get more of it if I could. Go to sleep in comfort.

11. Apparently your sleeping position says something about you. People who sleep in the fetal position (knees curled into the stomach) have a tough exterior but on the inside are very shy and sensitive. Nailed it psychology. That describes me well.

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How To Make Your Own Clothes As A Fashion Blogger

Over the past weeks I have been honing some skills which include makeup, gele tying and fashion design. So I made this shift dress over the weekend. It took me a couple of hours to make it. Used about one and half yards of ankara material. Unfortunately, I did not take pictures of the process. However, a how to post for another outfit is coming to the blog soon + a giveaway! Stay tuned.

How To Make Your Own Clothes As A Fashion Blog

To make this shift dress, all you have to do is cut out a rectangular shape. If you want it to be sleeveless, just leave enough space for your arms and sew straight. However, if you want sleeves, cut out the shape of the sleeves you want and sew to the holes of the sleeves. You also want to fold and sew the neckline of the dress.

Well, hello there!

Well, hello there!

I really am particular about my outfit being casual on a normal day hence the simplicity of the dress. Fashion design is something I really love and one principle I live by is ‘why buy it if you can attempt making it.’

How To Make Your Own Clothes As A Fashion Blogger

Nerdy

IMG_20160705_141325

Why should you try making your own clothes.

  1. You save money. You get to save money when you try out things for yourself. A normal designer shift dress would probably go for $7 which is equivalent to about #4000. I actually spent nothing on this dress. I have had my sewing machine for months and the ankara was a gift.
  2. Creating something new. Creativity needs a bit of stirring up. When I was thinking of the dress to make, a plain shift dress with round neck came to mind but then I got the idea of making the front neckline rounded and V-necked.
  3. Freedom to choose. You get to choose what material, color and what suits your personal taste. Even if you don’t get what you want exactly, you’ll create a signature style of your making.

 

How do you go about making your own clothes.

  1. Decide to try. This is the first step in the process. Making an attempt is just awesome. If you don’t try, how would you know what you’re capable of. I really respect diy bloggers, like they are magic makers. Creating out of what they have.
  2. Ask for help if you have to. Pinterest is a good source for inspiration. Wikihow also gives detailed steps on how to make some clothes. Search Google and find posts relating to the outfit you have in mind.
  3. Get all the materials you would need. All of it; your scissors, pins, needle and thread too. Trust me, lacking one item can cause lack of motivation very fast. Having everything on hand would make the creation process faster too.
  4. Be patient. The creation of some outfits is not that easy but keep calm, listen to music if you have to.

So how did I do? How would you style this shift dress? Comment below. And kindly subscribe to the blog to get notifications of new posts. It takes just some seconds. You really don’t want to miss new posts.

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