Musings: Blank

“The day you find yourself is the day you might lose yourself”
This statement played in her head over and over again. I don’t know if anyone has ever quoted it before but if nobody has, I would love to be tagged as the founder/originator.

The day you find yourself…
Over and over again it played. Found out today that her crush was getting married and she had nothing to do about it. He didn’t even know her but she did. She pulled a strand of her brown natural hair, stretched it and watched it spring back into its curly form. She wasn’t supposed to do that but her fingers were free and she just had to keep them busy. She had been reprimanded over and over about it but she really didn’t care.

She was feeling blank.
Really blank.
And didn’t even know why.
Emotions are crazy.
She should be happy for him but she should be happy too.
What is happiness?
Over the past week, she has forgotten. It used to be so easy to laugh, to laugh freely. But if they looked close enough, they’d see the sadness in her laughter.

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