His last days

All he wanted was to live
But he had the disease
The blood wouldn’t stop when he coughed
He’s getting better, he heard the doctor and nurses say.
He felt better
But there was something wrong
He sensed it
And he was scared
Scared because he didn’t want to die
Scared to leave these people depending on him behind
Of course death was a passage into oblivion
He knew that
He believed that
Because it was true
But yet he didn’t want to die
He had a son to raise
A son who was with his mother
His baby mama
She had been married twice
Taking the child with her
He had fought for him
But the child wasn’t with him
He loved him very much
But there was nothing else to do
The child looked so much like him
And wanted to be like him when he was grown up
The child adored his father
How would he live now?
How would he live when he learns his father was dead?
He has heard the voices in his head
And he has had dreams about them
Seen unknown faces
Faces determining his fate
Whether to keep him or let him go
Having a say over his life like they didn’t care about his own opinion
He would be discharged tomorrow the doctor said
He looked forward to it
Looked forward to being normal
Longed to return to the world outside the hospital
He’d recuperate in his brother’s house
And afterwards go back to work
Back to work in the other state
He has it all planned in his head
So he ate dinner and packed his stuffs in readiness for the next day
He got into bed feeling peace
He slept for a while
He made it to the next day
Then that dream
He was back in that meeting with unknown faces
They told him to go
That he was free
He was happy and he left the meeting
But one kept following him
Dark as the devil himself
He turned around to chase him
And back into the dark room they ran
He woke up coughing
Gradually choking on his own blood
What’s happening here? He thought
I’m well and would be discharged today
He held his chest as he tried to force air into the lungs
Slowly, he stopped struggling and down he laid on the bed
Never to take a breath again
Now he would be referred to as the body
A lifeless object
He was a father
He was a son
He was a brother
And he was an uncle
A darling uncle which would be missed
Everyday every time
I’m glad you’ve got the rest you deserve
Never again will anyone think you’re worthless
Worthless and incapable of achieving anything
I believed in you
Few of us did
Just couldn’t do anything to help
And that saddens my heart
Because I loved you and I wished you the best
Some things just can’t be reversed

Poetry || Phone conversation

poetry phone

Celine
Celine can you hear me?
Oh great
How have you been?
I’ve been well too
Heard you got married
Happy married life
That was about two years ago?
*rolls eyes*
Lucky you
Always knew you’d tie the knot first
*snickers in mind*

So any critters yet?
You were pregnant?
When is the delivery date?
Oh you lost it?
So sorry about that
*rolls eyes*
Please don’t cry
You’ll be fine sweetie
God’s got you
And your husband too
And I’ve got your back darling
Anyway just called to check on you
Take good care of yourself
Will call you sometimes
And might stop by to see you
Bye!
*exhales*
That went better than I expected
– Ajibike Oyindamola

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Musings: Fading

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Stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself
All 5’9 of herself
The slim body that drew envy from girls
One thing was on her mind though
Fading
All fading away

Slim she might be now
Beautiful she might seem
But fading, it’s all gonna fade away
One day
The luscious brown hair
The still budding hips

Fading
All gonna fade away
But she’s ready for it
After all
It is a temporal container
Eyed the ant crawling on the table
Mused at how different their worlds were
And how oblivious it was
To the thoughts in her head

She smiles
It glided into her hairbrush
And she wished it luck in the tangled maze
The maze holding strands of hair
She talks about her hair a lot
She can be fussy about it like that
When she wants to be
But it’s fading too
Fading away

Raised her head and looked in the mirror
Focused on herself
Saw the cheeks and forehead
That would one day be wrinkled
The only person that can change you
Change you is the person in the mirror
But it will fade if you don’t want it to change
All fading away

Musings: The other night

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10:45
Sex
A lot of people find it easy to talk about
She doesn’t
It made her uncomfortable
And annoys her more when people talk about it
Don’t know why
But she found it a weird topic to talk about

10:47
Don’t blame her
You could blame the church
She was raised up like that
Turned over
Over in her bed
Adjusted the pillow her head rested on
Changed her mind
Grabbed the pillow under her head
Placed it on her head
Silly thing to do
But she was trying to muff the noise
The noise coming from next door

11:48
They’ve been at it for over an hour
The neighbours
And she was really getting angry
Her roommates were asleep
Dead to the noise
Why won’t they shut up?
She had an early class the next day

00:11
He kept going on and on
And she could hear the occasional slaps
When the lady protested she’s had enough
Someone must have taken something wrong
Turned over again
The beeping notification for her phone’s low battery
Added to her headache

00:20
She faced the ceiling and made images
Images with her eyes
An old man with a beard
An ice cream truck
A black cat
Her late uncle

00:24
He gave his last sound of ecstasy
And everywhere became quiet
This time
She closed her eyes
And slept

The first time 2

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“Is this how you get girls to kiss you?” She asked and rolled her eyes.
He looked at her and asked
“What do you mean?”
She could tell he was shocked by the question and slightly annoyed.
“Nothing” She said and shut her mouth.
She was having a hard time trying not to kiss him because it was obvious they both wanted to. She was just being the stubborn girl. Give her a break. She hasn’t had a kiss in like a year. She kept looking at him. Trying to study him the way she study other people but he had this thing around him she couldn’t decode. She couldn’t read him and she hated it when that happens. Studying people makes it easier for her to tell the people of person they are and if she’d like to associate with them or not. But he, he was different and that intrigued her. He kept playing her song. The one that usually turns her on but she wasn’t feeling anything now. Because she didn’t want to. It was their first meeting and it would be awkward if they kissed. She knew the lyrics of the song and each word only seemed to make the situation difficult to resist. Over and over the music played and she thought. Just one kiss wouldn’t hurt. Smiling inwards, she turned towards him and went in for it.

Musings: A deep poem

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You were my star
I loved you for who you were
But you chose to break my heart
You shattered it with a bat
Shot through it a dart
Though I did my part
Now I’m sitting at the bar
Tired to try to bring you back

My love I would have had you surround
Would have always been around
To spin you round and round
To sing the love sound
Your misery I would have found
And bashed to the ground
Our love like the fox and the hound
Sought after like the Pound
Picture perfect and beyond

You listened to voices that turned your heart away from me
When what I felt was actually real
And it was deep
Deep like the sea
What I had in mind won’t come to be
Right through you I could see
Loving you and free

Musings: The real deal?

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11:13pm

I never would have guessed
That every word you texted
Was just all lies
For me you’d never die

All I wanted was something real
Close to the main deal
The lies from your mouth
In which comfort I thought I found

I don’t even know what to feel
Or what to think
Now I’m wondering why
Do you believe in the I love you reply?

Because I thought I’ve reached the end
Thought in you I found a boyfriend
But you’re flirting
And me, you’re playing

Are you happy with yourself?
If I were you, I’d be ashamed of myself
Emotion is not a toy
So stop acting like an uncultured boy

Musings: Tale of a crush

Another day another life
Another you another time
So I thought
The feelings in my heart I fought

Many times when I lay in my bed
I have a lot running through my head
Over and over these words I’ve written
Yes, I have been smitten

I am confused right now
Love keeps pulling me to the ground
The so called crush
That sends through my heart a rush

Has made it very clear
He doesn’t want me as a dear
Not with his words
Which he hasn’t drawn as a sword

But his action
And my deduction
Shows he doesn’t want me as a friend
So they might be the end

Of this stupid obsession
Which should have been a perfection
You’ve seen me all
At my biggest and when I’m small

In deep tears and in distress
My weakest and my strongest
I’ll try to get over you
That seems like a sensible thing to do

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